Why. WHY. WHY WHY WHY.
Oh my god.
Why Alyx, WHY.
I don’t even know what to do now. Oh my god. Oh my god. i cant take this. i hate this. I hate it. I dont want DID. I never asked for this. I’d give anything for this to go away. Please, my Lord. Please take this away. I know I’m stupid. I know that. But please. Take this away. I can’t live like this. I can’t I know it’s selfish. I’m not asking for any reverse of actions. I respect his wishes and I agree it’s for the best. I just don’t want to go on now. Please take this away. Take me away. Please.
Why does this always happen? I open myself up. I let myself get close. And she fucks it up. I fuck it up. Because I’m the one with these alters. I’m the one who has the system at fault. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t.
Tell me, what did we do for this!?
Am I not your child too, Lord? Why!?
i don’t want to llive in this fucked up world anymore. It’s no one’s fault but my own.
I never thought it’d come to this but I’ve lost faith.
I’ve lost faith in you, Lord. And faith in myself.
If you are real, grant me this one prayer.
Keep him safe. Please. Just watch over him. He’s been the nicest person I’ve ever met and he’s done so much for me. And I’m grateful.